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Jasmin K Ahluwalia (she/her)

Part Six - How to Get Your Rocks Off: Understanding the Importance of Sexual Satisfaction and Orgasm

Updated: May 29, 2023


Sexual satisfaction is a critical aspect of healthy sexual relationships. It is the feeling of fulfillment and contentment that arises from a sexual experience. However, satisfaction goes beyond orgasm. It is about feeling connected, bonded, and energized after sexual activity. It is about feeling satisfied emotionally and physically, and this can vary from one person to another.


In this article, we will explore how to enhance satisfaction, the role of after-play, and why orgasm is an important component of sexuality.


Satisfaction: More Than Just Orgasm


Satisfaction involves feeling bonded and energized after a sexual experience. It is important to note that orgasm is not the goal and not the only way to feel satisfied. One can have an orgasm and not experience satisfaction and vice versa. Satisfaction can mean different things for different people at different times. Sometimes satisfaction is about feeling close to your partner, other times it could be a stress reliever, or validation of our sense of femininity or masculinity, excitement, or euphoria.


One way to enhance satisfaction is by developing an after-play scenario. Afterplay is like a dessert; it makes the whole experience complete and can be varied and flexible. Afterplay scenarios can be playful, silly, erotic, seductive, and emotional. There is no one way to engage in an after-play scenario. Some examples could be taking a shower together, writing each other notes, planning a getaway, and playing silly word games, to name a few. An afterplay scenario helps deepen the bond between partners and can also help in prolonging the pleasurable sensations after sex.


Orgasm: The Positive Integral Component of Sexuality


Although orgasm is not the goal and not the only way to feel satisfied, it is a positive integral component of the sexual experience. However, the sad truth is that not enough women are having orgasms, not because they are unable to, but due to a lack of information and misinformation.


Women tend to orgasm differently than men, and the main focus during sex tends to be on intercourse, which is the way most men orgasm. The clitoris is the key to women's orgasm, and it has an overwhelming majority of the touch nerve endings that women need to reach orgasm. In contrast, the vagina has very few touch nerve endings. Each woman is different in terms of what they need to orgasm, and it can also vary from one encounter to another, even with the same partner. So, it is important for women to get to know their vulvas and learn what gives them pleasure and how they reach orgasm.


Other factors that are important to reaching an orgasm include good sexual communication with your partner, feeling positive about the sex you are having rather than shame or guilt, feeling that your pleasure is as important as your partner's pleasure, and learning to relax and not feeling self-conscious during sex.


In summary, sexual satisfaction encompasses both emotional and physical fulfillment after a sexual encounter, fostering a sense of bonding and energy. While orgasm plays a significant role in sexual pleasure, it is not the sole determinant of satisfaction. It is essential to prioritize each partner's needs and preferences, and for women, it is crucial to understand their bodies and communicate effectively with their partners to achieve optimal satisfaction.


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