Part Seven - Don't Settle for Good when You Can Have Great: The Final Word on Good Sex

According to Bernie Zilbergeld, author of "The New Male Sexuality," good sex is when you feel good about yourself, your partner or partners, and what you are doing. But why settle for good sex when you could be having great sex? How can you move from good sex to great sex?

Here are some tips that can help you have a better sex life:

1. Build a healthy relationship. A strong relationship that is built on love, friendship, trust, and mutual respect can greatly impact the quality of your sex life. When you feel connected to your partner, you are more likely to feel safe, vulnerable, and open to sexual exploration.

2. Communicate openly. It's important to be able to talk about sex both inside and outside the bedroom so that you can identify and communicate your needs, wants, don't wants, questions, concerns, and contexts to your partner or partners. Learning about your own needs and preferences, feeling comfortable expressing them, and listening to your partner's needs and preferences are important aspects of healthy communication.

3. Create sexual equity. Each partner should feel comfortable saying no, making requests, and equally valuing intimacy, sexual pleasure, and eroticism. Sexual equality also means equally valuing satisfaction for all partners, which includes orgasm equality where penile stimulation and clitoris stimulation are equally valued.

4. Embrace your sexual self. Give yourself permission to engage in sex that you want to be having rather than sex you think you should be having. Feeling that you deserve pleasure and satisfaction is important for a fulfilling sex life.

5. Remember that perfect sex is a myth. Perfect intimacy and perfect eroticism are also myths that can subvert individual and couple sexuality. It's important to embrace the imperfections and uniqueness of your own sexual experiences.

6. Follow the golden rule. You cannot say yes to sex and healthy sexuality until you feel comfortable saying no. It's essential to have clear boundaries and feel empowered to communicate them in any sexual situation.

In conclusion, moving from good sex to great sex requires a combination of healthy communication, sexual equity, self-acceptance, and boundary-setting. By embracing these principles and cultivating a fulfilling sexual relationship with yourself and your partner(s), you can experience a more vibrant and satisfying sex life.